Losing Sleep Over It

For the past six weeks I've been getting to bed awfully late on Friday nights - so late, in fact, it's the early hours of Saturday morning. Unfortunately, no matter how quietly I creep into bed, my beloved always wakes with the kind of start you'd expect had you set off a firecracker on her bedside table. "WHAA?! NGGGA?! WASSIT?!" she cries as I soothe her and simultaneously yank back the quilt she has annexed for herself. "Calm down, it's only me. Go back to sleep," I say. "Gnagh humpha," she ...